Vote or Die?

November 3, 2008 in Uncategorized | 19 comments

Apparently there is some kind of election going on.  I am very confused because I thought we already had one of those recently.  I guess the office of supreme chancellor, or whatever it is called, of the United States only lasts for a couple years.  I don’t know how we can expect our dictator to do anything if they are only allowed to work for eight years.  I mean Castro was in charge of Cuba for like fifty years, but I think that they are on the metric system so that is like 215 years in the US, I am a little fuzzy on my conversions, anyway,  he had at least 200 years and barely even got started on anything.  So I guess I have to go through the grueling process of deciding who to vote for.  I hope this guy lasts longer than the last guy, if he rules for less than fifty metric years I am going to be pretty pissed.  The best way to decide who to vote for is to look at the arguments against each candidate and see who has the better argument.  I will now frame the arguments as I understand them.  

So apparently there is an old man named McCain and he wants to destroy the economy and keep us in a war for 100 years (not sure if that is metric or not).  I am not sure why he wants to destroy the economy but I guess he must really like rich people because he wants to give them all of the money.   I heard that if we elect him all the rich will just get richer and the poor people will all die or something.  The poor people will die pretty fast because he also does not want to give anyone health care.  This could be a huge problem.  If all the poor people die that will make the middle class the new poorest people.  Then McCain would probably want those new poor people to die.  By the end of his reign all that would be left would be McCain, Bill Gates, Bono and Claire from Heroes, she is indestructible so McCain’s duplicitious scheme does not effect her.  But they would have a problem too because I heard that McCain also wants to destroy the environment.  It would not do any good to kill all the poor people because everyone left is going to die anyway when McCain implodes the earth. 

I guess there is another chioce, but it seems just as dire.  There is a young man named Barack Obama and I heard that he is a sercet Muslim.  I also heard that he is a huge fan of abortion, being gay, never going to war, and he wants to take money from the rich people and give it to the poor people.  I read in a letter from the future* that he wants to shut down the Boy Scouts, form an all gay military, shut down all churches and let whoever wants to invade us come right in.  So according to my unbiased, objective sources if Obama get elected a number of things would happen.  First, all the rich people would become poor because he would take all their money and give it to the poor, who would probably just spend it all on lottery tickets anyway, and then every one would be poor.  Then, once everyone was poor and there was no one to pay taxes, all of Obama’s secret Muslim friends would invade the US and we could do nothing about it because we would have no money to fund our all gay army.  And then we would all die.  

I remember a few years ago that nice Puff Daddy…P.Diddy…Sean Combs fellow told us to vote or die.  He should have said vote which way to die.  Because apparently whoever you vote for you will surely die.  So I am going to write in a candidate.  One that would never try to kill me. This year I am going to vote iPhone for the new King of the US.  I mean could we get a better King, that thing is awesome! 

 

*http://focusfamaction.edgeboss.net/download/focusfamaction/pdfs/10-22-08_2012letter.pdf

On Personality…

October 31, 2008 in Random, Theology | 4 comments

The last blog that I wrote had some very interesting reactions.  I had four different people that were mad at me because they were sure that I was talking about them.  So apparently the “sarcastic person” is also the “everyone is always talking about me person” as well, but that is for another blog.  One question that did come up, from a variety of different places, is what then do we do with personality? 

I tend to be very optimistic and have a hard time finding areas that being optimistic can be a negative thing. (Wow that was the dumbest sentence ever) But over the years I have realized that it can be a bad thing.  I can look at a bad situation and find something that is good about it.  But i don’t think that always finding the good is necessarily a positive thing.  When someone is hurting and I am optimistic I have to realize that my optimism can have the tendency to minimize what the other person is feeling.  There are times when sorrow is necessary and people need to go through that.  I have to realize that blind optimism can in fact hurt as much as it helps. 

I think that the key then is knowing the areas that you are likely to fail in.  Introspection is something that most people do not spend much time doing.  I know that there are attributes of personality that we are born with and we will probably always have.  But I still don’t think that is an excuse for crappy behaviour.  In the end we all must be aware of what we do and say and be open to God transforming us, instead of leaning on our personalities and continuing in crappy behaviour.  What do you think?

Things That Annoy Me Three-Series Finale…maybe

October 23, 2008 in Annoying, Theology | 12 comments

I have climbed the mountain of pessimism and I think that I have reached the pinnacle.  I have finally decided what annoys me more than anything in the whole world is…the self described sarcastic person.  But first a few caveats.  I am not opposed to sarcasm as it can be a useful  tool of communication.  I will admit that sarcasm at times is needed and should be utilized in certain instances.  I don’t mind self deprecating sarcasm for the most part.  What annoys me though is when people use “I am just a really sarcastic person” as an excuse to be a jerk.   

First off I want to state that I am not talking about any one person in particular, in fact, I may even be talking about myself.   After saying something that is rude the “sarcastic person”, in lieu of apologizing, will often just explain that he or she is in fact a sarcastic person and therefore you should not be offended.  The funny thing is that after the person explains to you that he or she is a “sarcastic person” you are expected just to put up with his or her pejorative comments.  At first I thought that the “sarcastic person” was very similar to the “no offense but [insert rude comment] person”.  I have come to realize that the “no offense but person” is much better than the “sarcastic person” because the “no offense but person” at least warns you before he or she is going to be crappy, the “sarcastic person” just lets it fly whenever.  

How did “I am just that type of person” become a socially acceptable excuse to do things.  This could have all sorts of untapped potential.  For instance, I like money and I find it useful to do certain things.  So, I guess you could say that I am just an “I find money useful type of person”.   Hmmm…. banks have money I guess i should go get some, since I am just that type of person.  After I rob the bank I will just tell the cops that I am just an ” I find money useful type of person”, surely this would clear up any problem with the robbery because that is just who I am.  From that point on the cops would just know who I am and it would never be a problem.  Two cops are walking down the street and they see me mug an old woman on an electric scooter, before one of the cops could chase me and beat me up the cop that knew me could politely inform his or her colleague that I am just an “I find money useful type of person”.  All would be well. I would have my money and any pain caused could be alleviated because the offended party would realize that is just who I am.

I know that we are all fallen creatures.  People will struggle with different issues and be prone to different types of jerkiness, but as Christians “that is just who I am” can not be an excuse for crappy behavior.  If your crappyness and jerkiness is so ingrained to who you are, that is a real problem.  If you were a “abuse alcohol type of person” you would go to AA, try to get help, try to cease being that type of person.  By making a character flaw part of who you are it does not allow people to hold you accountable or ever offer correction because in doing so they would be criticising who you were at the core of your being.   

So I say, lets just call things what they are.  ”Sarcastic Person”= “Crappy Behavior”  Maybe instead of coddling our character flaws, crappy behavior, and sinful leanings we should repent and ask people to help us change.  

Again, this may be about me. I hope this blog is not seen as crappy behavior.

Oregon

October 22, 2008 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Kelly told me that my last blog was really depressing and that I needed to write a new one.  She said that it sounded like I was in a place that I did not want to be so I decided that I should clear the air.  I am very happy with were I am at in my life. I love Fuller.  I am learning a lot and I am excited about the prospect of putting what I am learning into action someday.  We live in a real nice community and we are building some really good friendships.  Kelly and I recently started a college group at church and though it is small we are having a lot of fun hanging out with college students.  So I am extremely happy with what is going on but occasionally I really do miss Oregon. 

I was getting ready to go to a night class and Kelly told me that it was getting chilly out and I got really excited.  I know the idea of being chilly is a common feeling for the rest of the world that actually has discernible seasons, but in California it still feels like July.  All that to say I was happy for it to actually feel like fall and I went to my closet and pulled out a nice sweatshirt.  As I walked to school just being able to wear a sweatshirt put me in a particularly good mood.  I don’t think that I ever really appreciated the weather in Oregon.  It was an annoyance that you just had to deal with but I never really thought about how nice it was to never really know what you are going to get, I miss unpredictability.   

It really made me think about how many things I love that I really take for granted.  (I have found my self missing mud lately but that is for another blog.)  Oftentimes our lives are so ordered that we lose sight of the blessings that surround us because we have grown so used to them.  I know this is no great epiphany.  My prayer is that I might always be reminded of how my life is blessed. That I would be able to take joy in the little things like sweatshirts, mud and the changing of seasons.

Things That Annoy Me- Part Two

October 14, 2008 in Annoying, Random | 2 comments

There were some that said it would never happen again, that the pessimism would not rear its head again but alas it as returned.  It was not nearly as profound as last time but I was just sitting here and I realized, that once again, I was just downright annoyed.   

I have decided that it is annoying to know things, particularly what God wants you to do.  It is hard to be in one place all the while knowing that you need to, or will inevitably, be somewhere else.  When you know what God has called you to do you have to either move forward with what is required, or do nothing  and both of these options can be difficult.  Moving forward means that you have to make tough decisions and trust that God will take care of you.  Doing nothing means that you are constantly thinking about what you need to do and that is a tremendously difficult way to live.  So that is why knowing things is annoying…

Another thing that annoys me is not knowing things.  The problem with being anoyed with both is that I don’t know how to function with being annoyed with both.  It is not exactly a workable lifestyle.   And that is maybe the most annoying of all.

Miley Cyrus’ Big Gay Disneyland Birthday

October 6, 2008 in Interesting?, Random, Theology, Uncategorized | 5 comments

Since moving to California Kelly and I have become pretty big fans of Disneyland.  We purchased season passes about a month ago and we live close enough that we can easily go and spend an afternoon or an evening there.  We decided to go there yesterday after church and when we arrived we were meet with an interesting site.  Occasionally Disneyland has special days that are geared toward certain people and we happened to go on a day that  was extra special because there were two special days.  Not only was it MIley Cyrus’ sweet sixteen birthday party but it was also the 11th annual Anaheim Disney Gay Day.

It was kind of intersting to see these two groups mixing together and I am not sure that such a large repersentation of these two groups have ever been mixed together.  You had literally thousands of gay men all dresssed in red shirts to show that they were in fact there for Gay Day.  There were equally as many young tweens who at the mere mention of Miley Cyrus would surely die with excitment.  By observing these two groups for a day I have come to a number of conclusions.  

I am scared of Miley Cyrus and I think that she might be a cult leader.  There were ravenous packs of crazed little girls moving like a swarm of locust throughout Disneyland devouring anything Cyrus as well as sending churro vendors running for the hills.  It was scary.  I kept joking around to Kelly that I though I saw Miley.  She would get mad and tell me to be quiet because she did not want me to start a riot.  At first I though that she was joking but then I realized that it was a real concern and decided that being trampled by a mob of prepubescent girls that are all jacked up on energy drinks, churros and Miley-mania is not the way that I want to go out.  So when faced with the craziness we did the only safe thing,  we backed away slowly and abandonded the madness.  

I also though it was incredibly useful that you could identify people based on the color of their shirts.   You could glance across a crowd that day and discern that the large group of men in red shirts were there for Gay Day and not just a large group of Hannah Montana devotees, although they could have been both I guess. I think that we should use clothes more to signify what we are about.  I am not advocating the wearing of t-shirts with christian slogans but the use of clothing to make it easier to judge people.  Judging people already comes easily to most people but this would make it much easier.  Here are a few examples: 

You can usually identify someone who works in an office by the attire he or she is wearing but I think it could get much more specific.  For instance, I am a business man who likes golf and sleazy romance novels this could be signified by the wearing of a crushed velvet shirt with a green tie.  Then you could see someone walking down the street and immediately say “what a pervert he reads smutty novels” or “I hate golf, what a idiot”.  This would work really good in the church as well.  For instance,  say someone wanted people to know that they were a moderate Calvinist, who only sings worship songs that were written within the last two years, and that they think that Jesus is one “hip” dude.  I would wear flip flops, khaki shorts and a yellow polo shirt (preferably Lacoste).  That way people would look at me and think, “Wow! God preordained that guy to be one hip dude and know the best worship tunes”. 

If only everyone could get on board with this idea, I could know how to judge people in much less time. I could judge without ever even having to talk to anyone.  Awesome.

Does God read my Blog?

September 29, 2008 in Annoying | 4 comments

I woke this morning to find that the sun that I have grown to find so contemptible was not there and in its place were large and ominous rainclouds.  The sight of these clouds were a great start to what would have been just a conventional Monday morning and then the day got even better.  I work in an office that is located beside an atrium with a glass ceiling and around ten thirty I heard a familiar sound, that of a hard rain on the glass.  I ran outside so i could enjoy the rain for a bit before heading back to work.  I am not going to over spiritualize things and say that God sent the rain because I was missing actual weather, but I am glad the rain came.  Now I should be able to deal with that dastardly sun for a little while longer.

A First Step

September 25, 2008 in Ministry | 7 comments

I have learned an important lesson. Don’t start a blog series unless you have a second blog planned.  I have been racking my brain trying to find something else that annoys me but just as I expected, my annoyance was powerless when my optimism resurrected.  I was sitting at work freezing to death and I thought that I might possibly be annoyed by air conditioning.  I started to cultivate this annoyance in my head  and it was nearly a blog, but then I realized that the air conditioning was protecting me from my nemesis the sun.  I ended up going through this vicious cycle of thinking I was annoyed with something and then realizing I was not annoyed until I had nothing annoying to write about.  So for now the series is on hold, until I wake up and feel that perpetual state of annoyance again.

Today is the first day on a new college small group that Kelly and I are leading at our church and while I am excited, it is a guarded excitement that is mixed with a little fear.  I have lead small groups before but in the past the groups were mostly people that I knew, so this is a whole new ball game.  I think the fear comes because this is big step toward coming to grips with the reality of the call that God has placed on my life.  I know that ministry, even volunteer ministry, can be hard.

In the past I did not handle the rigors of ministry in a way that was pleasing to the Lord.  I was met with success and I let it go to my head. I became arrogant and my arrogance almost destroyed me.  So now I am met with a whole new challenge. I get to relearn ministry in a way that is not self destructive.  So as I move forward cautiously I am thankful that God allows us second chances to get it right

My prayer is that God will bless this new ministry and that I will not get in the way.  I pray that the grace that God gives to try again will be seen through me, and that others who have walked a similar path to me might be encouraged to try again. I have had this verse stuck in my had for a couple of years and my biggest prayer is that this could be true of my life and future ministry.

Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man [or woman], what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

Long Mornings or Things that Annoy Me

September 23, 2008 in Annoying | 7 comments

Every once and a while I have morning that seems like it goes on forever.  I did not get up that much earlier than I normally do and I tend to enjoy the early morning, but this morning just feels different.  I had this weird feeling in the pit on my stomach and I could not put my finger on what it was that I was feeling.  And then it occurred to me, I am annoyed.

While I am at times annoyed with certain things I rarely dwell in a constant state of general annoyance.  For the most part I am pretty optimistic, even to a fault, but today I am just down right annoyed.  This state of perpetual annoyance has inspired me to write a series of blogs called “Things that annoy me”.  Eventually I know that my insipid optimism will rear its ugly head and the annoyance will be repelled, but in the meantime I am  going to take advantage of this great opportunity to forever immortalize the things that annoy me just because I am rarely in a mood that would allow my to do so.

Things That Annoy Me- Part One

I am annoyed by sunshine.  I never in my life thought that my love for sunshine could even possibly be dissuaded but living for only one year in southern california has turned me against the sun.

Every morning I wake up and watch the news while I get ready and every morning it is the same forecast, sunny.  I think that the weathermen on the news might even secretly despise the sunshine.  I am fairly certain that there must be some amount of training that meteorologists must go through in order to stand in front of a green screen and announce the weather to the rest of humanity.  I think it is safe to say that the meteorologists in southern California are not using there full and extensive training finding new ways to say that it is going to be sunny out.

I can not even remember the last time that it rained or was even overcast past 9 in the morning.  Every night I pray that I will get a nice Oregon style drizzle and that it will last for a good 3-4 weeks.  Then when the sun came back it might be able to appreciate it more.  Until I get some substantial rain I will continue to shake my fist at the heavens and dream of a nice hoodie and a rainy, chilly day.  Mark Twain said that “familiarity breeds contempt” and that is probably the case with me and the sun I just hope I can get over this problem.  One thing is for sure though, I live in the wrong state if i am going to dislike sunshine.

Monks at Disneyland

September 20, 2008 in Random | 5 comments

Today we went to Disneyland since Stacie is in town and it was pretty fun.  We have lived in California for a little over a year and have been to Disneyland almost half a dozen times and it is always an interesting time.

It is funny how all types of people from all walks of life come to Disney.  From grandmas to emo kids there are all there and functioning in relative harmony. But there was a group that I was not at all accustomed to seeing, a large group of monks, in full monk orange robes.  It was pretty interesting to watch.  I saw them mulling about in different areas and looking pretty laid back.  They did not talk to each other very much, just kind of stood around and watched people.

A little while later in the evening I was waiting for Kelly and Stacie to finish in the bathroom and here came the monks shuffling around the corner.  There was about six of them and they proceeded to walk right into the women’s restroom.  I started chuckling to myself and prepared for hilarity to ensue when the monks realized they were in the wrong bathroom, but they just walked out nonchalantly and went to the proper bathroom.  There was no look of embarrassment or anything.  They didn’t respond to the extremely confused women who were walking into the bathroom they just walked out of it was as if nothing had happened.

As we drove home I could not stop thinking about that peaceful look on those monks faces. I though “man, there has to be some sort of deep theological application to this.” But I am not that smart. I did come to one conclusion though, monks are cool. I wish I was cool like that.