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This morning here is what I am thinking…..
You can put practically anything in a burrito and it will be awesome.
College students are the best thing in the world and everyone should be required to know at least 20.
My wife has been gone for most of the week and I am kind of out of sorts. I almost forgot to put pants on before I left the house.
I would like to walk to the end of a long road that goes nowhere just to turn around and come back.
Postmodernism is a sham.
I would really like to go to Mexico and just sit.
I miss my brother.
From very far away fried chicken and cookies smell the same.
That is all. The end.
I hate the dentist. There are very few things in this life that I can say that I fully hate, but going to the dentist is one of them. Some people just hate the scraping or the drilling but I hate all of it. I had to go to the dentist yesterday and it was horrible. Not because anything traumatic happened just because I so intensely dislike going to that place of torture and terror. I have also come to the conclusion that it takes a certain type of person that would want to work by putting your fingers in someones mouth for a living. I don’t think that I would say that they like to hurt people they are just disconnected from reality and don’t realize that they are hurting people. I was getting a procedure done that is not comfortable and the torturer kept asking me if I was alright. I wanted to respond that no, I was not in fact alright, but because I am a man I just responded with a little shrug (a shrug was really all that I could muster because I was pinned to a chair by my mouth).
The more that I reflect on my experience the more I realize that dentists ask you the most ridiculous questions ever. They say things like “does that hurt” or “how are you felling”. I know that it is a question that must be asked but I wonder what they are really expecting. Do they want some type of joyous response, “oh yes this is wonderful, having a half numb face is just delightful, I love drooling on myself”. Dentists/Hygienists should ask questions better so that they do not sound like they are ignorant to the pain that they are causing. Questions like “is the pain/annoyance that I am causing you about to make you throw up?” or “I know you want to punch me in the face but do you think that you can stand to be in the room with me for five more minutes?” If these tooth witch doctors were to ask questions more rooted in reality I would not dislike them so.
I also think that I would place dentists in a special category with chiropractors and witch doctors because I am not sure if they actually do anything beneficial. These maleficents say that they must remove the diabolical plaque from my teeth but the plaque is not bothering me one bit. In fact, I think of the plaque as a little helper. I never have pain in my mouth and that is because the helpful, friendly, little plaque friends wrap themselves around my cavities so that I feel no discomfort. And what do these little helpers get for there work? They are vilified and scraped out and discarded with extreme prejudice.
After the agony is over the deviant dentists always reprimand you for not brushing correctly and never flossing. These evil friends of the devil always have that smug dentist look on their face like you are the biggest dummy ever from not flossing. Next time this happens I am going to take a stand. I am going to stand on the nearest counter and declare aloud, “No! I do not floss. And I do not intend to start either. I will not have your artificial standards thrust upon me. I do not feel that flossing is necessary and I will not live under your standard just because you are a dentist. What do dentists know about teeth anyway?” And I will finish off the whole diatribe with a Jerry Springeresque ”You don’t know me”
The dentist says that my teeth will fall out if I do not take care of them, but I just say that’s their opinion and that I feel differently about it. Dentists don’t seem to be to open to other ways of thinking. You would think that all those years of college would make them more open minded. I guess postmodernity has not infiltrated the witch doctor schools yet.
I had every intention of writing a number of blogs over the Christmas break but I never really had much time to sit down and get my thoughts out. These next few blogs may be even more random than normal because the trip home for the holidays gave me a lot to ponder and I will need to process my thoughts in blog form.
Going home is always an exceptionally weird experience. Last year for Christmas we went home and it was not that weird because we had only been gone for a couple months but this year when we went home we had been gone for a full year. I spent a couple hours on one of the days that I was home and just drove around the old town and looked at things. It was a fairly surreal/uncomfortable/awkward/unsettling experience.
It took me a while to figure out why driving around in a town that I had spent most of my life in was weird. At first I thought it was because things had changed, but then I realized that just the opposite that was true, things hadn’t changed and that is equally unsettling. Being optimistic I tend to think that everything is in a constant state of getting better and because of this I tend to operate under the general assumption that the town that I left a year ago will somehow be better or at least improved. So I go home with this subconscious expectation and for the most part everything is the same. It is kind of weird. I thought that I found change weird, but in reality the weirdest thing is not having your expectations met.
